There have been a lot of WTW (what the…what?) moments during this process—especially in the last month. Moments that feel like you’ve been kicked in the teeth by an abnormally large, bitter, and ugly donkey. And after we’ve met our new daughter, we’ll probably write a book about those moments.
Our first reaction was to try and make sense of those moments or to interpret them as “signs”.
And I’ll just be candid: if you rely on “signs” for real-time, minute-by-minute affirmation and confirmation that you are on the right path, you might end up at a dirty Long John Silver’s when your goal was to go to the beach. And just to clarify, that’s not a good thing.
Signs are misleading and they are filtered by our own minds and confirmation biases. We see what we want to see, and when the going gets tough, we often only see roadblocks and brick walls and U-turns and exits.
Signs will make you quit too early or they’ll make you act impulsively when you should pause. Signs can make you feel uncertain or fearful. Very quickly you can become a pinball bounced around by “signs” without any clear direction.
Let me be clear(ish) about what I’m NOT saying: You shouldn’t pay attention to any red flags whatsoever. You should ignore wise counsel. You should ignore common sense and reality. You should never change your mind. If you do those things, you are being lazy. And you’re not a lazy person. (I mean, to my knowledge, you’re generally not a lazy person. Let’s move on.)
What I am saying is that when circumstances spin you around and mixed messages are everywhere, stop and go back to the original purpose.
Spend less time trying to read the signs and more time on the why. Focus on the truth. (I wouldn’t say I’ve perfected this. I’d say I’m fast-approaching “not terrible”. I am so often steered by emotion and reaction and mood. But it’s fun to write about it and pretend like I have it together! I’m awesome!)
And here’s the good thing: even if you make a “wrong” turn, fear not: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (Proverbs 3:6).
So here we are. We’ll soon be meeting our second daughter. And know this: if we would have “read the signs” along this journey, we probably wouldn’t be adopting right now; we’d be consoling ourselves with talk of “closed doors” and “we trieds” and “oh wells” and “let’s go to Targets”.
But we’re in this now. And if we see any more STOP signs along the way, we will smirk at the irony, pause, and then keep going. (But seriously if we see a Target, we may stop real quick like.)
BTW – here’s an update on the fundraiser. Thank you so much for adding so many hearts to the chart! And we’re so glad that many of you are sporting the “brave” and “valiente” bling! Get them here.